Chuckie gets Christmas presents.

I discovered Chuckie’s Christmas list in the trash.  He wrote it up hoping against hope that someone cared enough to give him a gift, but that won’t happen because even the president of the Douches of the World Club thinks Chuckie is too much of a douche to pay any attention to.  Here is the contents of Chuckie’s list:

“Penis enlargement cream – so the ladies will want me.”  I think with “ladies” he’s referring to his blow up doll collection.

“Male Puppy”  I believe his plan is to sexually molest the dog until it gets big enough to eat.

“Muscle Magazine”  With this one, I think his testicles are so numb from masturbation (SINNER!) that he needs a visual when thinking about the dreamy body-builder neighbor.

“Pictures of my enemies”  At first, I thought this was everyone, but then I realized he just means every man and woman on the planet that won’t have sex with him – which would be everyone, so I guess my first thought was right.  Always go with your first instinct.

No matter what is on his list, the only thing he will get is some clothes from his Mommy.  She’s getting tired of supporting him and only buys him clothes to kill two birds with one stone.  Chuckie, do you know that she resents you for being a big, fat, loser leech?  Do you have any idea of how disappointed in you she is?  Every time she gives you a compliment, it is only because she feels like a bad mother because you are such a douche.  She feels like she failed (which she did) and is only trying to make herself feel better.

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